"You don't get the experience you want. You get the experience you need."

There is nothing you can share with me for which I will judge you. That's a promise.

One of the central tenets of my work (personally and professionally) is that there is always a path to redemption no matter how much we have hurt ourselves or others. I've made terrible mistakes and gone deep into the dark abyss where most people are afraid to look. And all I've found there is a scared little boy doing his best to survive.

So, when someone opens up to me about what they are struggling with, my natural instinct is always to feel compassion, because I know we all fall down. None of us are perfect. And because I know how hard it can be to share that experience with another human when it's hard to even admit it to oneself. How damaging it is when we do open up to someone, only to be met with judgment and shaming.

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A majority of our work will consist of breaking through that fear, working through the shame and developing self-compassion, and then being deeply curious about how you got to where you did. Because those who do not understand and learn from their past will be doomed to repeat it.

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That understanding and clarity will come when you soften your heart enough to begin the process of inquiry. When you let your guard down enough to ask the hard questions. When you allow yourself to be witnessed in your pain and be reminded that you are not alone and that it doesn't always have to be this way.

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Things can get better.